Ok, yeah, I know. I've been awful quiet since November 4, 2008. Understand me well: I have just been gobsmacked, overwhelmed, amazed, dumbfounded, in a fog of disbelief regarding the momentous Obama election victory. As of today, it has been little over a week and I still don't know what to think, how to feel or how to move in the moment. However, I will share some of what I've been chewing on these last few days.
Since the election, I have traveled to Illinois the next afternoon to participate in an All-Class Black Alumni Reunion at my alma mater at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. While in Illinois, I had a chance to celebrate with hundreds of Black Illini, my husband and my mama briefly on a quick drive to Chicago. Yet, consistent with the life I live betwixt and between worlds, I missed out on post-election celebrations with fellow poll workers and campaign workers here in Jacksonville. So, for me, this has been a fragmented, disjointed post-election moment of travel mixed with worship, joy, disbelief, CAUTIOUS optimism and relief.
However, a sweet sorrow has settled in attached to this monumental achievement. The campaign journey is over and the presidency now begins. Consequently, for me, a shift in consciousness is required as Obama moves from my home state's junior Senator to presidential candidate, from underdog to front runner and to President-Elect. This must be what parents feel when they send children off to college---the joy and pride in the child's achievement coupled with the sorrow and uncertainty of the child's growth, change, mistakes, desicions that you disagree with all in the process of pursuing their passions and find their life path. Thus, we must now send our candidate forward---proudly and prayerfully--- to govern us ALL.
So, though there are still races to be settled in Georgia, Minnesota and Alaska, Election 2008 is over...and I miss it. I miss the calls, texts, emails, that I received from the campaign--- and that I made for the campaign--- encouraging voters to support the campaign and get out the vote. I miss the ground game, the rallies, the community organizing, the opportunity to meet neighbors and work with strangers on a common goal of making history and electing Obama.
So, in the afterglow of victory, there is a twinge of sadness as the scrappy energetic trailblazer now moves on to the hallowed halls of the White House and becomes "presidential" with the requisite gray hair and heavy brow and bears the strain of hourly overlapping dilemmas associated with managing this nation. It was mesmerizing to see Barack and Michelle at the White House on Monday. Yet, as they were welcomed by President and Mrs. Bush, it was also a sobering reminder that they prepare to take on the VERY HEAVY mantle of President & First Lady during this volatile, complicated moment in American life.
And yet, what is real for me about the Obama campaign is that it was so much bigger than the man. It was a epic struggle over the future of the nation. The victory was confirmation from millions of nameless, faceless Americans who sought a different path for the nation. It was as if Americans were voting for the opportunity to breath fresh air again, imagine new possibilities again, and decided to cast off the shroud of fear and war and isolation and confusion and economic collapse that has constrained us for the last eight years. The vote for Obama seemed to be a citizen mandate urging America to re-enter the world and our national life in new ways.
However, the victory also triggered something else in my gut: Now that this election is over, what about ME? After spending so much time investing, thinking about, fighting about, writing about, and finally working on the campaign and working the polls to aid voters, I can't shake the question: What about me? Have you worked as hard to pursue YOUR OWN dreams and passions as you have to track and participate in this campaign? What are you doing to make YOUR OWN ambitions realities? And what of all the other volunteers and supporters ---where does all of that collective fervor, passion and intensity go now? Are we willing to fight for our local communities and personal concerns as we were willing to support the Obama campaign?
Interestingly, every day this week, I've driven past the former Obama office in the Arlington neighborhood in Jacksonville where I worked. The office has gone dark. The posters in windows and rooftops gone. The building and surroundings barren. That corner is now emptied of chaotically parked cars, yard signs, the steady stream of visitors, cars honking as they sailed by the office, people's energy and excitement spilling over into traffic along University Boulevard. As I pass the office, I get a bit misty and whimsical remembering how much that space meant to so many working together to "turn Florida blue". Since that victorious night, we have all returned to our former lives, families, occupations and commitments. Yet, I will never forget that lil' bright yellow and salmon- colored rehabbed Jamaican restaurant that became one of the thousands of outposts for change across this nation.
The Obama victory was a symbol of what can happen when a confident young family with talent and intellect and courage and guts and judgement crosses paths with a nation that is hungry, tired, angry, afraid and desperate for CHANGE. So now, as the business of constructing the Obama government is underway, I can't help but ask myself: What is next FOR THE REST OF US? What dreams stir restlessly in the hearts of each of us and how can we reinvest our Election 2008 passions into our own aspirations. It is a profoundly difficult question for all of us to consider, but a question that I MUST answer for myself.
Be well until we speak again!
---Nicole
